Aging at Home Family Caregiver Senior Health

What to Do When Your Loved One Says “No!” To In-Home Care

What to Do When Your Loved One Says “No!” To In-Home Care

What to Do When Your Loved One Says “No!” To In-Home Care?

At some point, most of us will have to deal with aging parents or loved ones who need help — You are not alone!

What to Do When Your Loved One Says “No!” To In-Home Care

Over time you may notice they start to struggle with some of the areas below:

    • Small changes in their cooking or cleaning habits
    • Laundry not getting done regularly
    • Bathing less often
    • No longer doing their favorite hobbies or becoming less active and socially engaged
    • Stop taking their meds or miss Dr. appointments

If you notice changes that concern you, it might be time to start a conversation about getting some In-Home Care assistance.

Don’t be surprised if you get some pushback – especially if your loved one thinks they don’t need the help or just doesn’t want it —  this discussion can lead to hurt feelings, arguments, and even a breakdown in communication.

…” 75% of adult children believe their parents resist taking their advice or getting help with daily tasks, 

according to researchers at Penn State University.

Let’s begin by putting yourself in their shoes and imagine how you might feel in the same situation… Remember to be calm and think about what you would want if the situation was reversed.

This topic  may be one they need to gradually warm up to, so begin the process, work with them to reduce their fears and learn why they’re resisting help.


Below are some options that may help your loved one feel more comfortable with saying “yes” to In-Home Care:
  • Start a Discussion, Listen, Be Empathetic:

It is common if your loved one is hesitant and believes they don’t need any help. They could feel like they are losing their independence, don’t want a stranger in the house, or be in denial about their situation.

Listen to their reasons for not wanting In-Home Care and let them know that you understand how they feel.

If they are open to having some help, ask them to participate in choosing the agency so they feel like they some control of the process.


  • Tell Them That YOU Need Some Extra Help:

They might be more open to some extra help if you say that YOU need it.  

Recent studies show that …roughly 55% of older Americans worry about being a burden to their families as they age.” ~ Genworth

So, start by switching the conversation from something that “They need” to “This would make me feel more comfortable and stop me from worrying when I’m not here to help.”  

Your end goal is to get them some help, not make them admit they need it.


  • Start Small:

Begin with a couple of hours each week – If your loved one connects with the caregiver, they might want them around more! You can always add hours as needed when your loved one starts to enjoy the companionship and the help.


  • Get a Housekeeper, not a Caregiver:

People usually allow someone in to clean even when they “don’t need” care for themselves. Having a caregiver come to do laundry, make meals and give companionship can make their lives easier.


  • Get A Doctor’s Prescription:

This works for many families because the doctor is seen as an authority figure. He or she can write the “prescription” on their letterhead and prescribe help with cleaning, laundry, meal preparation, bathing or even going on daily walks!


  • Call It Temporary Care & Test It Out On A Trial Basis:

You can hire a caregiver on a short-term basis for respite care or recovery care after after a fall or discharge from a hospital stay.  This can help your loved one see that having a caregiver can be a huge help and open them up to ongoing In-Home Care.

You can also use a vacation for yourself as a reason to for In-home Care, if you, another family member, or a friend are the primary source of help,!  Explain that having the care while you are gone means you’ll be able to relax and enjoy yourself.

Many families discover that their loved one is happier and much more cooperative when when the caregiver arrives!

What to Do When Your Loved One Says “No!” To In-Home Care

Remember, In-Home Care is not only for your loved one!  It gives you or your family some much-needed downtime to relax and take a break. 
Think of it as the gift you give to yourself AND your loved one.


  • Finding the right In-Home Care agency is a game changer and is crucial to a successful In-Home Care experience. 


  • Check out an agency like Ohana Care Maui who works with both residents & visitors. Locally owned and operated, we offer specialized In-home Care – from respite care to bed-bound care and everything in between; including dementia/Alzheimer’s care. 


  • Our commitment to excellence, accountability & transparency with our staff and our clients ensures your loved one, receives the  Exceptional In-Home Care Services they deserve.


The Best Care Is Possible if you hire the right agency!

Learn More — Check Out the articles below:

– Choose Your Home Care Agency Wisely! Four (4) Key Areas To Consider

-What You Need To Know to ‘Age in Place’ Safely


Be Sure To Check Out our website and our reviews on Google or at Ohana Care Maui

Then Give Us A Call — We’d love to answer all of your questions!

Ohana Care Maui Exceptional Care You Can Count On.

Call Today for Free, Customized In-Home Care Consultation
From respite care to bedbound care and everything in between — including Dementia & Alzheimer’s.
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Ohana Care Maui